SMK Abdul Jalil

some may know while others may not even have a single idea what i mean by SMK Abdul Jalil. Well, like my classmates, i'm doing my practicum/practical. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean that the whole class is doing their practical in SMK Abdul Jalil, only Ashairi and I are doing our practical there. Having their practical together with Ashairi and I are 2 TESL PKPG Nadia and Puspa and 2 pengajian Al-Quran students; Aisyah and Mariani, if I'm not mistaken, hehehe.

Basically, there's nothing much to share abotu the school except for the fact that they have class from the alphabet A until P... and each of the class have approximately 38 students. Can you imagine, a class with 38 people...CROWDED!!!

From the first day i entered the school, the teachers reminded me that the school's English achievement is very low and the reminder echo still. Does it make me freak out??? of course it does!!! I'm afterall going for a practicum as an English teacher, not a BM one...

The thing that i hate the most is that the Penyelia Petang gave Ash, the two TESL PKPG and me 2 classes each and both of the class are of equally weak academic backgroud, what more their English... Even the English teachers are very surprised when they know that we given weak classes when we're suppose to be given at least 1 godd class. I wanted to complain but after giving it a thought, i decided to stick with whichever class given to me. I'm officially taking 1Ikhlas and 2Jujur.So, it's A B C D E F G H 1I 2J K L M N O P...

I have not teach any of the class but i've been entering the class, observing the English teacher teach. I'm in seriuos trouble!!! Imagine this, 75% of the lesson is conducted in bahasa because students hardly understand any English. Making things worse, the students do not utter a single English word. They answer questions fully in Bahasa... There you go, try putting yourself in my shoes now. How can you teach English eithregards to that condition. What would happen if the students speak bahasa when my lecturer comes to observe me later?

Selamat Hari Ibu

Ya Allah, please tell her that I miss her so much. Tell her that I think of her at every single breath that i take. Tell her I remember her forever. Mak, Selamat Hari Ibu... i have never had the opportunity to wish you before. And i would never be able to wish you anymore. My eyes wont let me cry anymore. I miss you so much. I love you so much. Mak, Slamat Hari Ibu. Semoga Mak sentiasa dilindungi Allah S.W.T. Ya Allah, sampaikan salam rindu insan bernama anak ini. Rindu hamba buat Bonda yg dirindu. Sampaikan salam kasih yg aku dambarkan bagaikan selamanya. MAK, kamek RINDU alu ngan KITAK... datang la, lam mimpi pun sikpa...

Have you ever...

Have you ever try to put yourself into my shoes. Trying my very best to please the whole world; putting my own importance aside, considering their feelings before myself. I am very tired. Tired of making people smile, laugh... when they do not even know that I'm hurting myself, struggling to suppress the burden I feel inside. Shit...i'm nagging...LOL

Ya Allah, another 'dugaan' for me... i deleted the 360 word essay i typed just now... argh.... bencik li jak... tp sikpa la... DUGAAN... let uus look at the bright side. Maybe He just want me to spend some more time typing this entry and further looking into things and trying to look into the bright side of life. Unfortunately, though ii try hard to seek for the so call silver lining, my mentality does not allow me to do too much of thinking over the conflicts i'm having.

Why???(why is the because...hahaha... sajer jer merapu...) Why can't I see it like other people do??? give me comments... see if you can help me with what i'm having now...