it ends here

It has been almost 2 months for Ashairi, Kak Nadia, Puspa, Maryani, Aisyah and I being a part of Jalil. I personally has so many sweet memories in SMK Abdul Jalil, and i'm very sure the rest feel the same way too. Having assigned to do my practical in SMK Abdul Jalil, the first thought that came to my mind was the attitude of the students. First few days, nobody greeted us. The students seemed so rude. Later, upon knowing the 6 of us, they started to greet us.

Few weeks later, Astro showed a programme where Ashairi and I was in the programme. The teachers as well as the students saw it and when we were back in Abdul Jalil, all the teachers asked whether or not the 2 guests in the show were us. They were shocked to see me with a very long hair. I was scared if the management would take some disiplinary action. But they didn't.

And the students...they were so excited when they know that it was us in the show. Everywhere Ash and I go to, the students would shout "Jangan Lupa Lirik...Yea yea..." of they would sing songs from the programme. Instead of feeling angry with their attitude, i use it as an X factor to get their attention. Now, everytime i enter a class for relief, they would ask me to sing, or play a game mimicking the gameshow.

Today, while typing this entry, I'm felingvery sad. So many things happened in such a short time. I've always wanted to be a teacher even after knowing the ugly truth of the responsibility that i have to bare with. It doesn't matter. As long as you love something, no matter how irrelavent, or uninteresting it may be, you will find joy in it.

To SMK Abdul Jalil's management. Thanks for giving my friends and I a glimpse of what it is like to be a teacher.

To all the teachers, thanks for all the lovely advice and delicious food. Thanks for being so supporting whenever we needed help.

To all the students, you are all very talented and you have different ability. Find the potential and do the best out of it.

To the English panels, thanks for all the support and advice. I wish you alll the very best to make the standard of English in SMK Abdul Jalil better.

To 1Ikhlas, I'm very sorry for being very strict with all of you. I believe that you're capable of learning English. You just need to work harder. I pray to God that you would all be successful. It was fun teaching all of you.

To 2Ceria, it is a plasure to teach you. You are all vary in your talent as well as your potential. Be 1... Your class is missing something which is called respect. RESPECT yourself and your friends. That is the only thing that is stopping you from having good co-operation among your class member. Is was fun teaching you guys. I'm very sorry if ever i hurt you all. I wish you all the best for exams to come and for your future.

I'm not leaving, I'm just away...Thanks ('',)

making a STATEMENT

to all dear readers, do not be dishearted with my previous entry. I'm sorry to have complaining so much about SMK Abdul Jalil but facts remain as facts. After almost 2 months, i learn a lot from the school. i'm enjoying myself now. actually, the entry was written when i was not in a good mood. but now, i'm actually learning a lot of precious things from the school. I'm going to have a difficult time leaving this school.

to all the teachers of SMK Abdul Jalil, i'm very sorry if ever i did anything wrong. i hope my visit to the school brings sweet memories rather than a bad ones.

to the English panels, thanks for the support and love. I learnt a lot from all of you.

to all the students, I wish you all luck for you life. To 2Ceria and 1Ikhlas, I'm going to miss all of you. do keep in touch yea. keep on learning English. You may not see the rationale now but someday you will know why i force all of you to use English.

To SMK ABDUL JALIL...thanks for the memories.

SMK Abdul Jalil

some may know while others may not even have a single idea what i mean by SMK Abdul Jalil. Well, like my classmates, i'm doing my practicum/practical. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean that the whole class is doing their practical in SMK Abdul Jalil, only Ashairi and I are doing our practical there. Having their practical together with Ashairi and I are 2 TESL PKPG Nadia and Puspa and 2 pengajian Al-Quran students; Aisyah and Mariani, if I'm not mistaken, hehehe.

Basically, there's nothing much to share abotu the school except for the fact that they have class from the alphabet A until P... and each of the class have approximately 38 students. Can you imagine, a class with 38 people...CROWDED!!!

From the first day i entered the school, the teachers reminded me that the school's English achievement is very low and the reminder echo still. Does it make me freak out??? of course it does!!! I'm afterall going for a practicum as an English teacher, not a BM one...

The thing that i hate the most is that the Penyelia Petang gave Ash, the two TESL PKPG and me 2 classes each and both of the class are of equally weak academic backgroud, what more their English... Even the English teachers are very surprised when they know that we given weak classes when we're suppose to be given at least 1 godd class. I wanted to complain but after giving it a thought, i decided to stick with whichever class given to me. I'm officially taking 1Ikhlas and 2Jujur.So, it's A B C D E F G H 1I 2J K L M N O P...

I have not teach any of the class but i've been entering the class, observing the English teacher teach. I'm in seriuos trouble!!! Imagine this, 75% of the lesson is conducted in bahasa because students hardly understand any English. Making things worse, the students do not utter a single English word. They answer questions fully in Bahasa... There you go, try putting yourself in my shoes now. How can you teach English eithregards to that condition. What would happen if the students speak bahasa when my lecturer comes to observe me later?

Selamat Hari Ibu

Ya Allah, please tell her that I miss her so much. Tell her that I think of her at every single breath that i take. Tell her I remember her forever. Mak, Selamat Hari Ibu... i have never had the opportunity to wish you before. And i would never be able to wish you anymore. My eyes wont let me cry anymore. I miss you so much. I love you so much. Mak, Slamat Hari Ibu. Semoga Mak sentiasa dilindungi Allah S.W.T. Ya Allah, sampaikan salam rindu insan bernama anak ini. Rindu hamba buat Bonda yg dirindu. Sampaikan salam kasih yg aku dambarkan bagaikan selamanya. MAK, kamek RINDU alu ngan KITAK... datang la, lam mimpi pun sikpa...

Have you ever...

Have you ever try to put yourself into my shoes. Trying my very best to please the whole world; putting my own importance aside, considering their feelings before myself. I am very tired. Tired of making people smile, laugh... when they do not even know that I'm hurting myself, struggling to suppress the burden I feel inside. Shit...i'm nagging...LOL

Ya Allah, another 'dugaan' for me... i deleted the 360 word essay i typed just now... argh.... bencik li jak... tp sikpa la... DUGAAN... let uus look at the bright side. Maybe He just want me to spend some more time typing this entry and further looking into things and trying to look into the bright side of life. Unfortunately, though ii try hard to seek for the so call silver lining, my mentality does not allow me to do too much of thinking over the conflicts i'm having.

Why???(why is the because...hahaha... sajer jer merapu...) Why can't I see it like other people do??? give me comments... see if you can help me with what i'm having now...

whatever you say...

Who am i? If i have a quiz, asking me details about my friends, would i successfully pass the test. NOPE... I don't even know my bestfriends' birthday. That's me... The one who tends to leave everything as the way it should be. I do not realize small things which people may take into consideration in their life. I know, i know, those small2 things are the ones which would make a great deal of difference in one's life. But, i don't know. Maybe I'm just being ignorance or maybe I have am the person who only looks at the bigger picture.

Things do not seem to go my way this few weeks. Too many incidences that make my life miserable, thinking about all those over and over again. Just to share with the rest of the world, I've not been talking to few people in which I used to be very close with. How do feel??? Let's make it this way... for the first few weeks, I feel tremendously sad. Felt like something that i hold on tight to is slipping from my hands, something so precious, so valuable. Well, i may be feeling the same way right now, but it doesn't hurt as much but it hurts me even worse.

Hakim, Ash and those who are close to me, would now smile and say..." not again..."hahaha... Am I looking into things too seriously? Tell me, how should i treat those who judge me, and punish me for being myself and for mistakes I dont even know. How whould i go about this unnecessary conflicts?

gone

I have not been blogging enough 'hot' issues so far. I have, actually, a lot of hot issues happening around me right now involving family, friends and those who i despise. It's has been tough, trying to be professional and at the same time, hiding the true feeling of hatred, hurt, burden and etc... I'm very sure the people who i am having problem with do not read my blog by if they do, i wish them to know that they have been successfully making my life miserable. Thank you so much.

owh, i wish to share with all of you how i feel last few days. After the 4 -days exams, I became EXTREMELY LAZY. Usually i sleep at 3-4 a.m. and wake up after 10-11 hours of so call 'beauty' sleep. Isn't that what we call LAZINESS...hahaha... owh, to make things worse, i have not been exercising. Instead, i stuffed myself with Mc D's meals for more than 3 time this week alone. OMG, i don't know what's wrong with me. I'm gaining weight faster than gaining knowledge, ish ish ish, apa nak jd la...

All of this is due to the problems i had i guess. Otherwise, i wont be stuffing 2 pieces of spicy Chicken, an apple Pie, Fries and Chicken Porridge every time I 'singgah' Mc D. thanks to them also, my jeans does not fit me well, and my thongs are very tight.

I have to take action fast before i have to buy new jeans. What I'm practising now is to ignore those who bring problems in my life. the hell with those losers!!! You are not the only people that i have okay... i have a lot more friends who can offer me shoulder to cry on. since I'm no one in your life, so i would like you to know that YOU ARE NO ONE IN MY LIFE!!! HA HA HA...