motivate me pls

It has been 5 weeks and i dont see any sign improvement from my students. Maybe it's way too early to judge but i could have at least grabbed their attention during my lesson. I'm honestly frustrated with myself for not able to perform well. The teachers of SMK abdul Jalil were right. the 'drama' i had when i was doing my practical was only a tip of an iceberg. I am officially shocked by the frightening truth.

I have been trying a lot of methods to educate but it seems like none works on them. I'm so scared thinking about 2 of my classes would be having their exam soon and they are unprepared for it. I've seen a lot of different attitudes. in one way or another, the attitudes dont give them any advantage in life. such a waste of time. At times, i felt like scolding them but i don't think it works.

still so blur....

from a land far, far away....

I'm now in a land so far away from home. I'm currently working in Lawas, Sarawak, around few hundreds kilometers from home. It's so far that some might not even notice the existence of this place. But i love it here. It's very near to 3 places of interests namely Sabah, Labuan and Brunei. Apart, there are a lot of beautiful waterfall and recreation places here. Not forgetting, there are also several breath taking beaches and scenery. Nature lovers would really love to be here as it is still so green and not very much polluted by the development.

Anyway, i'm doing fine now. it's been a month and i'm adjusting well. i arrived here on the 22nd July and now it's now 22August, perfectly a month. Like i said earlier, i'm adjusting and it seems like everything is going as planned. I was, however, hoping for few things that Lawas can't offer but i think it's better than nothing. You can get almost everything easily here.

It's been two years in a row that i have to celebrate most of my Ramadhan days without family. Fortunately, i'l be back with them for Raya or i would be sad on that day. I spent last Raya with my adopted family in Melaka, so i have to celebrate the coming Raya with my family. I miss the kampung raya environment.

Alahamdulillah, this Raya might be a little different as i'm celebrating as a person who is employed. For the past 22 years, i've been celebrating it as a student. Now, i've come a a brand new phase of my life. For a start, i'll be paying my own zakat this year. Everything is so new to me. I have lots of new responsibilities in which i never even care about when i were a student. Everything would be arranged by my uncle who is also my mother and father at the same time. He means the world to me.

If i got my paid this month, i would be buying few things for Raya. Here are the list:
1. Cakes (3 layered cakes)
2. Paint (maybe)
3. new Raya clothes
4. some goodies for my nieces and nephews.

Wishing all my readers happy Ramadhan :)

a little update from somewhere in Samarahan

world is going to realize my stupidity. and you are wondering why... you'll see... please forgive me for not able to be a person of certain standard. i guess i'm a loser after all. It's hard, harder to bear than merely knowing about it. I guess i don't need sympathy right now. I'm learning to become someone better and now i'm on my own. Feels like stopping...quitting. I don't know how to describe what i feel but i am surely in so much pain. Ya Allah, please help me go through this. I don't have my mom and my dad on my side. Dear readers, pray for me. Please don't ask me what's going on ok. It's time to put a comma to everything... not yet a full stop.

escaping reality

My friends and me are really tensed right now. We're having KISSM exam tomorrow. You know the equivalent of exam don't you... yup, it means that we have to study and to be honest, i had enough of it after the many2 years of studying. I have lost the momentum. I hardly able to highlight the notes, what more to write it down.

Due to that, Topeq, Rifky and myself decided that we should escape the reality for a while. No,no... it doesn't mean going to game arcade, neither it means going for karaoke. It's as simple as going back to the activity we did together when we were still in IPBL last time. so, presenting...

Mangoes hunting
location: behind the IPGMBL boys' hostel
time: 1.45-2.30
date: June 18 2010

The past flashes back in my mind. i can vividly remember the time when the three of us and our seniors, Borex, Tham, Jerry, and many others used to climb the tree to plug the mangoes. Usually, the ripe mangoes would fall to the ground and we don't stand a chance to pick it as the cleaners would pick it before us. So, the only way to taste the fruit is by plugging fresh from the tree. So that was what we did. We would take excessively and divide it among us. We would have 'ulam' party and some would be turned into pickles.

Sorry juniors, i dont think you would experience the same because they're cutting down the tree as there would be s new building build there. In fact, the construction is in progress. Pity you all, he3.

Time to get back into reality guys. I have exam tomorrow so it's time to study. We're have 'ulam' party tonight. Till next time, bye.......

lunch

Had our lunch at Siswa Korner today. You never know unless you try.

suatu masa dulu

Teringat lak dengan satu lagu nie tp luper tajuk aper... lirik pun ingat sikit-sikit.

♪♪♪ "andai ada, satu hari lagi, ruang dan waktu, yang kumiliki...lalala...
maafkan aku, memang salahku, biarlah semua berlalu... ♫♫♫
(argh... cx reti lak camane nak masukkan imoticon music tu... kene copy paste lak ☻☻☻)

BTW, kalo korang tahu lagu tu, bagitau ek... Teringin lak nak dengar balik. faham-faham jer la, lagu dulu berkualti sampai kalo dengar mesti akan ingat sampai mati. Unlike lagu sekarang la. Lagu sekarang nie macam tak lekat kat telinga nie. Sekejap jer popular, then jatuh... pastu takkan dengar lagi dah. Tapi aku puji lagu-lagu ciptaan Aizat. Dia mmg sangat berbakat. Suara pun sedap. Minggu nie aku layan lagu susun silang kata dia... aku rasa dia akan ada empayar sendiri sama seperti KRU.

Bukan nak tulis pasal lagu hari nie... aku nak cakap pasal kisah hidup aku years back. Zaman carefree. Takyah nak runsing-runsing fikir itu ini. Time kecik-kecik tu, yg aku fikir were just nak makan and nak main. Asal lapar jer, aku terus balik rumah... mesti ada makanan bawah tudung saji. Tapi sebelum makan tu, meti la kene mandi dulu sebab aku nie suka main guli (**menghabiskan koleksi guli yang abag aku menang sbb aku x reti sgt main guli**), so slalu balik kotor. Kalo betul masa, aku, mak n bapak aku akan makan sama-sama. Tapi kene tunggu bapak aku dulu la sebab kitaorang di 'train' makan secara family. (**sedih lak aku mengenangkan suma nie... takkan mampu berulang lagi**)

Biler aku dalam darjah 4-6, aku aktif dalam kebudayaan. Ada jugak aku kene jadi wakil sekolah pergi pertandingan nyanyian. Suara tak sedap pun tapi aku jer antara pilihan yang ada. Pernah la menang juara sekali and naib juara sekali. Yang juara tu aku menang time aku bawak lagu "Boneka Dari India". Kenapa aku leh menang??? Sebab aku mennyanyi sambil menyanyi. Kira ada kelainan la...ha3. Selain tu, aku nie aktif gak menari. Dari tadika lagi aku dah start menari. Selalunya aku perform time orang kawin. Antara lagu-lagu yang pernah aku tarikan adalah Joget Berhibur, Ulik Mayang, and lagu-lagu dangdut :)

Dulu aku pernah jadi BF kepada sorang anak cikgu, nama dia Ridzwan. Dia nie, mmg mr bean. Muka pun dah nak dekat sama. Dia nie LAWAK sangat2 tapi kreatif... sgt2 kreatif. kitaorg suka main buat2 tempat persembunyian. Masing-masing akn cari territory untuk ktorg ubah jadi headquarters. Then ktorg akan pg melawat tempat masing2. Dia nie kira sangat hebat la. Aku lagi suka lepak kat "headquarters" dia sbb dia buat kemas and cantik. Selain tu, kitaorg suka mandi sungai kecik belakang sekolah. Pastu kitaorg akan try carik memerang. Kadng-kadang kitaorg suka kejar memerang. Susah nak dapat pengalaman macam tu sekarang.

Kalo nak cerita tentang zaman aku kecik-kecik, sampai esok pun takkan hbis tulis la. Apa yang aku tahu, kenangan zaman kecik memang antara kenangan-kenangan yang aku takkan lupa. Sayangnya aku takder gambar yang boleh aku kongsikan.

Tapi aku nak kongsi gak la dua gambar aku time sekolah menangah dulu.

Nie la best frens aku time sekolah menengah dulu

Nie lak classmates aku.

Siswa Korner

do join Siswa Korner FB group
-search for 'siswa korner, and join...he3
-you may click the picture for direct link-