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Thursday, March 27, 2008

>>>thanks<<<

Blog kali tok nang bena2 luahan hati la. Thats why i write in mix rather fully in english. Very sorry mun ada yg sik suka bahasa2 kesat yg mungkin akan ditaip. Ya satu amaran la. If u wish to proceed, carry on, otherwise, u may leave this blog. Skarang tok, i’m pissed, sakit hati, rs mcm org bodoh, rasa totally rejected n suma2 yg ‘–ve’ la. Apa dah jd u may ask... let me tell u, tp mind u, to dr my side of the story, wat i feel. Bukan dr perspective org lain k. Hope u understand. K la, mudah jak sebenarnya, the performance for english nyte hari ya yg polah i feel even worse. K la, maybe i’m wrong, tp i dun care, if it is my mistake, pahal sik ada sapa2 muncul untuk tegur: pahal, takut dimakan kah.


K, this was wat happened. Sehari sbelum hari rehearsal, i suggest the class to end the performance with a simple pose, nak bg lebih dramatic la. Tp org sik maok and i was like, “sik kisah la”. Ada la point coz kan sik da masa nak prac. Tp, i was pissed when the next day ya, ada lg suggestion nak molah tarian, and it was accepted by the class. Logiknya 4 me to be angry was because “pasal pose, yg lebih mudah dibandingkan dgn tarian, direject... fikirkan lah... because, it was my idea. Sapa suka Si Lancang tok bersuara. These few weeks sgt mengubah mu life. I feel so frustrated oleh few of my frens yg i thought blh jd tulang belakang. Sik salahkan sidak org mun nya terikat dgn persahabatan yg lain. This blog wont explain evrything, tp its enough to tell u guy apa yg i feel inside.

Ada kawan tok, bila nya dalm masalha, boleh jak jadikan kita teman untuk mendengar apa masalah yang nya alami tp mun kita yang bermasalah, nya boleh buat sik tuk jak. Kesian dgn Dill k. Ktk org tauk sik betapa hidup nya ter’affect’ dgn apa yang dah berlaku. Dah la nya pendenagr yg setia, nya sendiri pun ada benda nak dipikirkan. Mun blog kali tok akan merubah sam sekali my circle of frens, i wont regret it. Sik kisah pun mun hidup tanpa kawan. Dah biasa dah dibuang leh my frens bah. Just that kat maktb tok jak i feel rather stupid... ktk org faham sik betapa susah to act place myself dalam kelas so that org blh terima. Susah k. I need to be someone in order to be accepted. Kmk sik pernah menyesal lahir dalam keluarga yang sik brapa berada, rather org miskin. At least, rasa derita dibuang ya rasa mcm sik matter jak. Sik kisah la org nak polah jaik, or think of bad things about me. At least kinek tok i can see sapa kawan n sapa bukan. Sorry la mun termakan duit, budi ktk org. Mintak tlg halalkan la. Tp mun sik halal pun sik pa la, nak polah gne mun org sik sudi nak halalkan. Sik kisah la derita kat akhirat kelak. My own mistake bah, sapa suruh makan budi.

I want to openly write about this someone, tp i guess i just keep it to myself la. The thing is, its just so hard to adapt to this new situation p sik kisah la. Janji sik berlaku d ukm kelak. At least the truth is revealed here. Ktk org mcm pelik la, sik boleh ka kmk duak dill rapat? Tiba2 rapat sikit nagn dill, suma jd menjauh, dgn alasan sik maok kaco. Please la, ktk org sik pernah cuba tanyak pun mun nak ajak kuar ka apa ka. Tiba2 padah takut ngaco kmk duak dill. Tauk sik betapa tiap2 hari dill pikir nya bersalah, sik semena-mena nya jd mcm ya. Dill, sorry . kmk bena2 rasa bersalah, tp tanpa ktk, kmk rasa, kmk dah jd even worse dr tok. Thanks dill.

Mun lepas tok ada org yang terasa hati n terus sik maok jadikan kmk kawan, kmk sik kisah. Sik la nak paksa org. Tp let me tell u one thing la, if ever u fear to befren with me once more, dont be, kmk akan terima seadanya. Mun nak berkawan, apa salahnya. Mun sik maok pun, sik kisah juak. Janji ktk org bahagia dgn pilihan ktk org. Yg penting, we should be responsible for our decision. Tp mun terasa nak try mendekati ya, kmk sik akan pernah berdendam, just that u need to show that ktk org berkawan atas dasar kejujuran and bukan sbb ktk org perlukan bantuan.

6 comments:

maria said...

aku juak 1st membaca tok...aih..sap...i hope u r strong enough to go on...& i know u r! muahh!!!

Anonymous said...

huhu!~ susah nak padah ehs.. mek dah lamak dah rasa that im not accepted by ths class bah but i eventually learnt to live with it.. mun sekda kawan lam kelas pun sekhal, kawan kat luar kelas, luar kolej banyak jwak bah.. ngeh~

lek lar.. i support u in anything u wanna do.. i understand ur frustrations and i know u'll be able to overcome the feud.. :) ktk kuat bah.. kan kan?!

Lyana_2202 said...

My response to this entry will be typed at my blog...mun sudi baca, silalah....

haiRonny said...

u know what,mun kmk slh sorg dari org yg ktk marahkan ya,kmk mintak maap...tapi honestly,kmk sik lalek ngan org asalkan nya sik ngaco hidup kmk ko..so far,ktk kawan ngan deal ya sikda ngaco kmk walopun adala ketika nya mek heran and tertanya tanya tapi ya hal ktk duak so sikla kmk nak lalek...tapi ktk harus phm juak,walopun bg ktk 2 ya sikda papa,org lain maybe sik pk gia...because we're talking about humanbeings yang memang cepat membuat assumptions..termasukla kmk..so phm phm jak la...and yg penting,sik perlu la rasa terasing d kelas sendiri,..make yourself comfortable..and pasal english nite ya...dah berlalu dah so biar jak la..yg penting kita sik kenak disqualified mcm BM...huhu...sedih indah kmk...k lah,ya ajak...gudluck hub etnik esok...heheheh

Anonymous said...

Ur class has one of the most weird combination of individuals ever! From the outside, looks so rosy, but on the inside only God knows whats brewing! I have no doubt that coming to UKM later, all this will further break this class apart.

Anonymous said...

sap sap sap... sabar bebanyak la k...Be strong k..Kita sikpat maok puas kan hati suma orang k...so, polah jak whatever u think is right k...